...my God...
It's 6:30 am and I'm awake not because I woke up early, but because I never fell asleep. There's no hell worse than being exhausted but having nothing happen when you close your eyes. If I try to lie still in the dark there's this horrible feeling of crawling on my skin that is almost nauseating and I have to move around.
I think I'm writing this post just to make sure I can still form words at this point.
What the hell? I'm not even particularly stressed out or anything... gah. Maybe it's time to invest in some OTC meds...
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Some thoughts on painting...
If I can even call myself either (which is pretty pretentious already), I prefer think of myself as a painter rather than a drawer.
On lunch break at work (which is pretty much one giant lunch break, lolinternship), time for me to wax poetic.
What I like about painting:
Traditionally
-The smell of acrylic paint fresh out of the tube
-The little furrows left from a square brushhead in wet paint (goddammit I love square brushheads so freaking much, with nice stiff bristles)
-Getting so wrapped up into defining the shape of a patch or polygon of color that I completely forget what purpose it is supposed to serve, only that I want it to be pointed so and angular here
-Mixing colors on the canvas: blending two slightly wet edges, blending an unlikely blue into a warm, or vice versa
-Running my fingers over the curious smooth surface of dried acrylic
-Pushing patches of color to the edges; the little ridge that forms makes it feel like you're actually crafting a shape out of nothing but canvas and paint, making empty air and material on a flat canvas
-Taking the palette knife and smoosing on a nice flat plane of unbroken paint, so delicious and butter-smooth when it's wet, the delightful crinkle at the edge of this mark
-The texture! Painting at school, not worrying about waste, just layering it on thick and creamy 'till it looks like a spider web or stucco or a cupcake frosting
-The intermediate stage between the initial mark on blank canvas and the final refining stages: blocking out areas onto the rough sketch, not being afraid to mess up because hell, acrylic dries fast and I can cover it no problem
-The odd satisfaction of having little flecks of color all over my hands and nails
Digitally
-Paint Tool Sai: complete infatuation. Can't live without the amazing blending power of just the brush tool. Blend blend blend, blend blue into yellow and orange and red, put some grey in that warm and what the heck, even though it's grey it looks like blue.
-Zooming in: it's even easier to get into that weird shape-oriented state, where this patch of color is somehow meaningful despite being just a bit of shoulder or leg or something.
-Undo! An obvious one.
-Flipping: great for quality control. Happily, I've noticed over time that my drawings/paintings look less deformed when flipped now.
-Layers: some mixed feelings here; it's easy to get so wrapped up in each individual piece and forget the whole, but then again, the convenience!
Things I don't like about painting:
Traditionally
-Cleanup. The big one.
-Mixing paints. One of the problems I have is getting too lazy with this and reusing the same five colors until it all becomes a soupy grey mess.
-When the paint just won't listen to you and stubbornly refuses to get into that shape or texture
-When the white paint is contaminated and becomes that weird yellow-green-grey
-Transportation/storage. T______T I do love working large, but it is such a pain...
-The last stage of detail refinement: I love love love the middle refinement, but gosh I hate the tiny part.
-When the picture in your head doesn't match...
Digitally
-I need a better way to angle my CINTIQ so I don't break my neck.
-I don't bother too much with textures and filters, but I really should. It hangs over my head.
-No matter how amazing Sai is, it still just can't replicate the physical feeling of brush putting paint on canvas. An unfair observation.
TL;DR - Painting is fun and I need to do more of it before summer is over.
On lunch break at work (which is pretty much one giant lunch break, lolinternship), time for me to wax poetic.
What I like about painting:
Traditionally
-The smell of acrylic paint fresh out of the tube
-The little furrows left from a square brushhead in wet paint (goddammit I love square brushheads so freaking much, with nice stiff bristles)
-Getting so wrapped up into defining the shape of a patch or polygon of color that I completely forget what purpose it is supposed to serve, only that I want it to be pointed so and angular here
-Mixing colors on the canvas: blending two slightly wet edges, blending an unlikely blue into a warm, or vice versa
-Running my fingers over the curious smooth surface of dried acrylic
-Pushing patches of color to the edges; the little ridge that forms makes it feel like you're actually crafting a shape out of nothing but canvas and paint, making empty air and material on a flat canvas
-Taking the palette knife and smoosing on a nice flat plane of unbroken paint, so delicious and butter-smooth when it's wet, the delightful crinkle at the edge of this mark
-The texture! Painting at school, not worrying about waste, just layering it on thick and creamy 'till it looks like a spider web or stucco or a cupcake frosting
-The intermediate stage between the initial mark on blank canvas and the final refining stages: blocking out areas onto the rough sketch, not being afraid to mess up because hell, acrylic dries fast and I can cover it no problem
-The odd satisfaction of having little flecks of color all over my hands and nails
Digitally
-Paint Tool Sai: complete infatuation. Can't live without the amazing blending power of just the brush tool. Blend blend blend, blend blue into yellow and orange and red, put some grey in that warm and what the heck, even though it's grey it looks like blue.
-Zooming in: it's even easier to get into that weird shape-oriented state, where this patch of color is somehow meaningful despite being just a bit of shoulder or leg or something.
-Undo! An obvious one.
-Flipping: great for quality control. Happily, I've noticed over time that my drawings/paintings look less deformed when flipped now.
-Layers: some mixed feelings here; it's easy to get so wrapped up in each individual piece and forget the whole, but then again, the convenience!
Things I don't like about painting:
Traditionally
-Cleanup. The big one.
-Mixing paints. One of the problems I have is getting too lazy with this and reusing the same five colors until it all becomes a soupy grey mess.
-When the paint just won't listen to you and stubbornly refuses to get into that shape or texture
-When the white paint is contaminated and becomes that weird yellow-green-grey
-Transportation/storage. T______T I do love working large, but it is such a pain...
-The last stage of detail refinement: I love love love the middle refinement, but gosh I hate the tiny part.
-When the picture in your head doesn't match...
Digitally
-I need a better way to angle my CINTIQ so I don't break my neck.
-I don't bother too much with textures and filters, but I really should. It hangs over my head.
-No matter how amazing Sai is, it still just can't replicate the physical feeling of brush putting paint on canvas. An unfair observation.
TL;DR - Painting is fun and I need to do more of it before summer is over.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Time
This summer I've come to the realization that I don't have as much time as I thought I did.
When I was smaller, having an entire day off at home to play seemed amazing. So much fun, so many hours of games, so many drawings could be accomplished in a day. A day is 24 hours, right? That's a lot of hours! Or so it seemed...
But I failed to account the extra hours for sleep, food preparation, food consumption, food excretion, exercise and all those other routine activities that don't accomplish anything beyond keeping me alive.
Now that I'm older, let's calculate how many hours of pure, unadulterated fun I really have in a day.
START: 24 hours
SLEEP: -8
FOOD PREPARATION: -2
FOOD CONSUMPTION: -1.5
FOOD EXCRETION: -1
FOOD CLEANUP: 1
MISCELLANEOUS HOUSEHOLD CHORES: 1.5
SLEEP PREPARATION: -1
RESULT: 8
It seems like a large number, but what can I achieve in that time? I can read a book, if I do nothing else for the day. I could waste the whole day making dumplings from scratch while watching bad movies from Netflix. I could draw about 13 pages of Parallax. I could spend the whole day playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (which is what I've been doing the past 3 or 4 days.)
But I can't do it all at the same time. It seems like a pretty obvious point to make, but I truly feel the limits of the opportunity cost. I can't finish Parallax and become educated in classic Western canon at the same time. I can't read the technical manuals my mother keeps begging me to read and play through all the endings of KotOR both.
In short, I must prioritize and economize if I am to extract maximum fun from the quickly dwindling remainder of my summer.
PRIORITIES
1. Finish Parallax, or at the very least finish the Ananke arc (very very least, finish the Rhys and Jakk arcs)
2. Play all the different endings on KotOR.
3. Play KotOR 2.
4. Continue my education in Western Canon.
5. Fill up my sketchbooks; actually get a chance to use the ridiculous two bottles of Mod-Podge glue I bought. And do something with those ridiculous dried orchids I preserved from a graduation lei.
Ok, that sounds like a good way to start.
ECONOMIZE
1. Hours of useless wandering around on the Internet/Wikipedia
2. Time wasted on extra sleep
Oh, and if you haven't already, go check out Parallax! I updated Chapter 17.
When I was smaller, having an entire day off at home to play seemed amazing. So much fun, so many hours of games, so many drawings could be accomplished in a day. A day is 24 hours, right? That's a lot of hours! Or so it seemed...
But I failed to account the extra hours for sleep, food preparation, food consumption, food excretion, exercise and all those other routine activities that don't accomplish anything beyond keeping me alive.
Now that I'm older, let's calculate how many hours of pure, unadulterated fun I really have in a day.
START: 24 hours
SLEEP: -8
FOOD PREPARATION: -2
FOOD CONSUMPTION: -1.5
FOOD EXCRETION: -1
FOOD CLEANUP: 1
MISCELLANEOUS HOUSEHOLD CHORES: 1.5
SLEEP PREPARATION: -1
RESULT: 8
It seems like a large number, but what can I achieve in that time? I can read a book, if I do nothing else for the day. I could waste the whole day making dumplings from scratch while watching bad movies from Netflix. I could draw about 13 pages of Parallax. I could spend the whole day playing Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (which is what I've been doing the past 3 or 4 days.)
But I can't do it all at the same time. It seems like a pretty obvious point to make, but I truly feel the limits of the opportunity cost. I can't finish Parallax and become educated in classic Western canon at the same time. I can't read the technical manuals my mother keeps begging me to read and play through all the endings of KotOR both.
In short, I must prioritize and economize if I am to extract maximum fun from the quickly dwindling remainder of my summer.
PRIORITIES
1. Finish Parallax, or at the very least finish the Ananke arc (very very least, finish the Rhys and Jakk arcs)
2. Play all the different endings on KotOR.
3. Play KotOR 2.
4. Continue my education in Western Canon.
5. Fill up my sketchbooks; actually get a chance to use the ridiculous two bottles of Mod-Podge glue I bought. And do something with those ridiculous dried orchids I preserved from a graduation lei.
Ok, that sounds like a good way to start.
ECONOMIZE
1. Hours of useless wandering around on the Internet/Wikipedia
2. Time wasted on extra sleep
Oh, and if you haven't already, go check out Parallax! I updated Chapter 17.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Miserable Les Mis film
oh dear lord, i have just seen the worst travesty of a book to film adaptation of my life.
the 1998 adaptation of Les Miserables with Liam Neeson and Geoffrey Rush
First of all, Valjean would never hit Cosette or tell her to shut up. That was just messed up. I know most of the people who actually read the book may have wanted to give her an actual personality but uh...
Why bother to spend 10 minutes about Valjean scaling a wall, 20 minutes on Javert sending a spy to spy on Marius (?!) and his love life, and 5 minutes with Cosette watching Marius make a rousing speech but not bother to put in Eponine, Enjolras, the Thenardiers...
By the way, Marius is supposed to be retarded, not a revolutionary leader with rousing speeches.
Why let Jean Valjean tell Cosette in the middle of the movie his past - thereby erasing any possibility of another self-sacrifical scene that the whole book is about when he has to let her go marry Marius instead? Why let Jean Valjean watch happily as Javert commits suicide?
Why let Jean Valjean get lovey-dovey with Fantine?
Why let Jean Valjean live at the end of the movie, after grinning as Javert drowns himself?
Why did I waste 2 hours watching this drivel?
...the fascination of the abomination...
And Uma Thurman is actually a really terrible actress. At least in here.
Actually, every actor in here is pretty bad. Even Geoffrey Rush!
Why can't film directors just make up their own movies if they're going to change the entire plot and theme of the book?
the 1998 adaptation of Les Miserables with Liam Neeson and Geoffrey Rush
First of all, Valjean would never hit Cosette or tell her to shut up. That was just messed up. I know most of the people who actually read the book may have wanted to give her an actual personality but uh...
Why bother to spend 10 minutes about Valjean scaling a wall, 20 minutes on Javert sending a spy to spy on Marius (?!) and his love life, and 5 minutes with Cosette watching Marius make a rousing speech but not bother to put in Eponine, Enjolras, the Thenardiers...
By the way, Marius is supposed to be retarded, not a revolutionary leader with rousing speeches.
Why let Jean Valjean tell Cosette in the middle of the movie his past - thereby erasing any possibility of another self-sacrifical scene that the whole book is about when he has to let her go marry Marius instead? Why let Jean Valjean watch happily as Javert commits suicide?
Why let Jean Valjean get lovey-dovey with Fantine?
Why let Jean Valjean live at the end of the movie, after grinning as Javert drowns himself?
Why did I waste 2 hours watching this drivel?
...the fascination of the abomination...
And Uma Thurman is actually a really terrible actress. At least in here.
Actually, every actor in here is pretty bad. Even Geoffrey Rush!
Why can't film directors just make up their own movies if they're going to change the entire plot and theme of the book?
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